What does it mean for you to rest well? Do you struggle with rest?
Chances are – especially if you are a woman – that you do. We can all-too-easily attribute attitudes like ‘lazy’, ‘unproductive’, ‘selfish‘, ‘self-indulgent’ to the idea of us resting. It might be easier to acknowledge that other people need to rest – think about any health care workers you know for example. But it can be hard for us to know how to rest, let alone give ourselves permission to do so.
What do you think of when you hear the word rest?
We have been musing here over recent weeks about the impact of burnout, and it’s current variant, Covid burnout. I have written about the damaging impact of Covid on our energy levels and our physical bodies, as well as how we choose the areas that ARE most important to focus our time on. Negativity and numbing are ways of unhelpfully dealing with our exhaustion levels, and can cause us to go into denial about the seriousness of the problem.
And of course, denying the problem is one way we struggle with rest.
Because to give ourselves permission to rest well and regularly, we need to acknowledge that we need that rest in the first place.
So much easier just to keep going.
But then we are forced to rest because we become so exhausted that we cease to function.
Hmmm, not ideal.
I was speaking with a client recently, and it became apparent that the way ‘rest’ was being framed for this person is the problem. REST for them suggested sitting still and doing nothing. And for them, this is far from – well, rest-full. Thus, it was neither an attractive prospect nor a priority.
What was badly needed for this client was switching the brain off from high-alert mode, full of Zoom calls and online work, scheduling and planning and the never-ending-what’s-next of life. Rest equated to head space, physical release and a sense of calm being restored.
So we reframed ‘rest’ as ‘active rest‘ – doing something physical but completely different that allowed an emptying out of the exhausted overworked brain and an opening up of creative space.
If you struggle with rest, perhaps you need a reframe too?
Perhaps active rest is a more useful term for you too. Or intentional rest? Restorative rest? It is not necessarily NOT doing anything, it might be actively doing something restorative, refreshing and renewing to body, mind and soul.
Resist the temptation to view scrolling through social media or playing games on your phone as rest. This is actually exhausting as we are having to absorb and process huge amounts of sensory input.
Step away from the screen, I say.
Think what it is that you really need. Which bits of you are exhausted and depleted and running brittle and frayed? What is restorative for those areas?
That is therefore likely to be more restful for you – and might look completely different than rest for someone else.
Two observations here.
Rest needs to be planned or it is not likely to happen.
This may well stick in yer craw a wee bit.
We are good at planning meetings, tasks, events, key dates etc. But planning time to rest and giving it priority over anything else? That might be a little harder to get used to . But get used to it we must, as this is about saying to ourselves that we matter and that we do not have limitless resources to run on. More on the importance of planning in rest time and the dangers of believing a quieter day is coming here.
And rest allows us to bring more of our best to the people who matter most to us.
Think about the people in your life who matter to you most. Family. Friends. Picture them for a minute. Now ask yourself:
Which version of me do they most often get – frazzled, brittle, distracted and snarky me? Or present, empathic, engaged and calm me?
A different way of asking the same question is to consider what you are like when you are run ragged and unrested and how you present to the world as that person. Now consider you at your best when body, mind and soul are refreshed and energised.
If you struggle with rest, consider which of the two versions of you mentioned about produce the best results in your workplace? What would your colleagues and co-workers say?
Read more here about the four different dimensions of self renewal and why they are each important.
Giving yourself the gift of regular rest and restoration and letting your soul catch up allows you to bring a more resourced and responsive version of you to the people who matter most.
And surely they and you both deserve that?